Lumière de joie | The Story of Joylight

On Friday, October 27, 2023, the excitement of a new connection unfolded when I received two delightful notifications on my smartphone: a new Tinder match and a message from her.

A new match appearing after swiping through profiles is a delightful surprise for Tinder users, particularly for men, as women often receive matches in abundance. However, it also raises questions about the choices made during those swiping sessions. One might wonder if they swiped right a bit too easily and if they truly wanted to connect. Who hasn’t thought, "I hope this doesn’t actually match"? This reflects an internal conflict between instinct and reason.

That day brought no unpleasant surprises. Upon opening the profile of my new match, I discovered Joylight, a charming 37-year-old woman with a radiant smile. She has long brown hair and crafted a thoughtful profile description filled with personal humor, suggesting she is both enjoyable to be around and intellectually engaging.

Joylight took the initiative by messaging me first, and I contemplated how to respond. Contrary to the common narrative about Tinder, it’s not unusual for women to make the first move, although it doesn’t happen all the time.

She reached out at 3:35 PM, and I saw the notification just eight minutes later, as my screenshots from October 2020 confirm. However, I didn’t check her message or reply until around 9 PM. Why the delay? Was I preoccupied? Did I not feel inclined to respond? Perhaps I wanted to keep her waiting? I can’t recall, but it’s true that Tinder often feels like a series of dead ends, which can dampen motivation. Over time, one might become akin to a fisherman, pleased when a catch bites but quick to release it back into the water.

For now, Joylight’s message was kind, and I scrolled through her profile for inspiration to craft a witty and personalized reply.

Then, I stumbled upon a mention of "sacred femininity." As I suspected, it was another neo-hippie concept filled with abstract ideas. According to a 2020 article from AuFéminin, sacred femininity is described as "a resource within us that connects us to our feminine essence," a spiritual lifestyle that initiates a path towards self-discovery. It’s replete with new-age buzzwords: resonating with energies, communing with nature, and aligning one’s menstrual cycle with the moon while camping under the stars—mosquitoes beware! There are references to "sacred rituals" and "sorcery," alongside advice for women to trust their intuition over reason, which, as quoted, "always disrupts our most primal, wild, spontaneous bodily sensations." This mystical trend thrives on the decline of traditional religions, catering to a spiritual yearning that the scientific society often overlooks.

I awaited another message from Joylight throughout the day, but it never came. This pattern continued the next day, a familiar scenario on Tinder where communication often fizzles out. I didn’t unmatch her, nor did she remove me. To my surprise, eight days later—an eternity in the context of our brief interaction—I received another message.

Although delayed, the message was thoughtful and stood against the common tendency to ghost. I didn’t respond, but I should have at least acknowledged her kindness, even if it was late. By then, I had moved on and no longer expected anything, which made her message feel somewhat peculiar.