Emotions: How to Support with Phrases That Help

When we go through difficult times, what we need most is to feel heard and understood. Many times, our emotions feel so intense or confusing that all we want is for someone to validate what we are feeling.

In this article, we share some tools to help you support someone in a tough moment or to learn to be kinder to yourself when something hurts.

What Does It Mean to Validate an Emotion?

Validating an emotion is recognizing, accepting, and understanding what another person feels, even when their experience is different from yours. It involves listening without judgment, giving space for vulnerability, and acknowledging that what that person feels is real and makes sense in their context.

In short: validating is not solving, it is accompanying.

Why Do We Sometimes Not Know What to Say?

Many people experience the same thing: someone shares something difficult, and they don’t know how to react. This happens because:

• we don’t expect what we are going to hear,
• we don’t want to say something that might hurt,
• we feel pressure to “give good advice,”
• we don’t always connect with our own emotions.

The good news is that you don’t need a perfect phrase, just a genuine presence.

Verbal and Non-Verbal Validation of Emotions

Emotional validation occurs in two ways:

• Verbal: using words that accompany, legitimize, and recognize the feelings of the other person.
• Non-verbal: related to eye contact, assertive body language, active listening, and accompanying from silence.

Both forms achieve their goal of support, and combining them creates a more human and secure accompaniment.

Phrases for Emotional Validation That Help

Here are some phrases you can use for those difficult moments when you don’t know what to say, or you can even use them with yourself:

Recognition Phrases:

These phrases show that you understand the emotional impact of the situation.

• “It seems like this really affects you, and it’s okay to feel that way.”
• “It’s expected that you feel this way given everything you’re going through.”
• “What you’re feeling makes sense; it’s consistent with the situation you’re experiencing.”

Phrases for Accompaniment:

These help the person feel that they are not dealing with their experience alone.

• “You don’t have to go through this alone; I’m here with you.”
• “Many people would feel the same in your place.”
• “It’s okay to ask for help and express what you feel.”

Acceptance Phrases:

These help normalize the emotional experience without minimizing it.

• “There are no good or bad emotions; they are all part of living a human experience.”
• “It’s normal to feel sadness, anger, or fear; you don’t have to hide it.”
• “Don’t pressure yourself to feel better quickly; every emotion and every person has their own time.”

Phrases to Acknowledge Effort:

These validate the strength behind moving forward.

• “I know you’re doing the best you can at this moment.”
• “I appreciate how strong you are for facing all this; you’re not alone.”
• “Every step you take, no matter how small it seems, is an achievement even if you don’t see it that way today.”

Validating Your Own Emotions Is Also Part of the Process

Interestingly, many people identify the emotions of others better than their own. For that, I invite you to speak kindly to yourself when you feel bad about a circumstance, using some of these phrases:

• “It’s okay for me to feel sad; I’m going through something difficult.”
• “I don’t need to be perfect; I’m doing the best I can.”
• “My emotions are valid and deserve to be heard.”

This internal dialogue is a compassionate dialogue, which is fundamental for taking care of your mental health and starting to heal from within. If you want to delve deeper into the topic, we invite you to check out this article.

Remember: every emotion and sensation we go through has a purpose and deserves to be recognized; it’s not about eliminating emotions but understanding, accepting, and accompanying them. Validating them is an act of self-love, self-awareness, and growth.

Frequently Asked Questions About Emotions

1. What are the basic emotions?

There are six basic emotions: joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, and disgust. They are universal reactions present in all cultures.

2. What is the difference between emotions and feelings?

Emotions are quick reactions of the body and mind to a stimulus, while feelings are the conscious and prolonged interpretation of those emotions.

3. How do I know if I am correctly validating someone’s emotions?

If the person feels heard, understood, and less alone, you are probably doing it right. Validation doesn’t solve the problem but provides relief.

4. Why do I find it hard to identify my emotions?

It may be due to habits of avoiding what you feel, growing up in environments where emotions weren’t discussed, or unprocessed difficult experiences. With practice, it becomes easier.

5. What should I do if I don’t know what to say in an emotional situation?

Go back to the basics: listen, recognize what you hear, and validate. You don’t need advice, just authentic presence.