Psychologists Agree: These 10 Phrases Are Typical of Someone Who Lacks Self-Confidence

Psychologists Agree: These 10 Phrases Are Typical of Someone Who Lacks Self-Confidence

Certain statements reveal a lack of self-confidence. Identifying them allows one to work on their vulnerabilities to transform them into real strengths.

Inner security, asserting one's needs, introspection... The values associated with self-confidence are now well-known. As a sign of love for oneself, self-confidence is a precious jewel to nurture. "Having self-confidence means knowing on which grounds you can rely more or less, on which aspect of yourself you can count," emphasizes Frédéric Fanget, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and author of the book Self-Confidence: How to Believe in Yourself? (Les Arènes, 2024). The specialist suggests learning to know oneself better in order to achieve self-confidence.

These 10 Phrases Reveal a Lack of Self-Confidence

Do you lack self-confidence? To find out, specialists recommend referring to these ten statements, typical of people who suffer from a lack of self-confidence:

• You are concerned if you recognize yourself in these ten statements.
• I place a lot of importance on the opinions of others.
• I don't like being photographed or filmed. I find it hard to believe that I can be interesting.
• I am easily influenced.
• I often think: "I won't be able to do it." I pay little attention to my feelings.
• I tend to look down.
• I change outfits a hundred times before going out or going to work.
• I hate speaking in public.
• From one point to another, I rarely choose the most direct route.

How to Regain Self-Confidence?

"The goal is not to become a superman or superwoman by 'bulking up' on self-confidence," emphasizes psychiatrist Frédéric Fanget, "but to succeed in taking a place among others: no more, no less than them, but a rightful place in a balanced relationship. This sometimes requires real self-work. Because often, the view we have of ourselves is biased, distorted. We doubt, we judge ourselves as being beneath everything because we zoom in on our mistakes, our failures, our weaknesses, and minimize everything else. There are simple exercises to restore the truth.

For example, note your positive behaviors. Make a daily or monthly list of what you have done well. If you think you have failed at everything, start from your birth! You can also practice polling: ask friends and/or family members, who wish you well, to make their list of what you do well and how they see you positively. Then compare it with your own list. You will surely be surprised. Also very interesting: do the same exercise with the list of your deficient behaviors. Having self-confidence means being someone reliable for oneself, knowing on which grounds you can rely more or less, on which aspect of yourself you can count. This requires knowing your strengths but also owning your weaknesses, your failures, your mistakes. Being able to face them, possibly apologize, analyze, correct. The better you know yourself as you are, the better you navigate through life, avoiding dead ends.