This Deep Psychological Wound Can Foster a More Lasting Form of Happiness

This Deep Psychological Wound Can Foster a More Lasting Form of Happiness

There are certain truths that must be heard to achieve happiness: one of them is revealed by an expert.

We often mistakenly think that to be happy, it is enough to surround ourselves with the right people. A study on happiness conducted by Harvard University has confirmed the importance of quality relationships—but also of finding meaning in our existence, as indicated by Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology. However, it seems there is a truth that must be fully understood to truly flourish and access happiness. In his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson reminds us that by chasing happiness too much, we have clearly lost its true meaning: "You realize that the advice you hear all day long to be positive and find happiness only ends up focusing you on what you lack."

Is Suffering the Key to Happiness?

He specifies: "The key to a good life is not to care about more things, but to care only about the true, immediate, and important things. You are only fully happy when you identify the problems you want to have and solve." Among the keys he provides in his work to finally achieve personal fulfillment, Mark Manson emphasizes a difficult truth to accept:

Suffering is inevitable, so choose the suffering that makes sense.

According to him, once we understand and accept suffering, we can more easily reach happiness: "We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature's preferred agent for inspiring change."

He explains that suffering is an integral part of human life and allows us to evolve, grow, and even build ourselves: "Life is a series of problems. Happiness comes from solving them." Thus, true happiness is not about having no problems, but knowing how to manage them well.

Giving Meaning to This Pain

According to the wellness specialist, regardless of what we achieve in life, whether in our professional career, family life, or elsewhere, we will go through moments of joy, sorrow, and sacrifice: it is therefore useless to avoid suffering, but important to choose what we are willing to suffer for. So, how can we overcome it?

According to the expert, we must give meaning to this pain. For example, engaging in a sports activity is hard, it hurts, but it nourishes health. Also, working on a project is difficult and tiring, but in the end, it is very rewarding. Finally, having difficult conversations with your partner or loved ones is not pleasant, but it strengthens emotional connection. As you can see, suffering is inevitable in life; the best approach is to know how to welcome and accept it, turning it into a strength.