This behavior from your partner may seem reassuring, but it signals an imminent breakup, according to this study - Psychologies.com

This behavior from your partner may seem reassuring, but it signals an imminent breakup, according to this study

If it indicates that the relationship is not in great shape, this behavior from one partner could be a method to gently end things.

"We were on a break." As represented in both reality and fiction, the "break" in a relationship is a frequently discussed practice. In Friends, the biggest debate revolves around the rules that govern the break. Should we always respect the norms of the couple? Are we still together or single? What are the rules regarding exclusivity? If in Friends, Ross and Rachel argue over the notion of fidelity during the break, they overlook another essential question related to the break: the real reason. In a study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, two researchers explored the most common methods for ending a relationship and what the chosen method reveals about the personality of the one breaking up.

The break technique, a true breakup trend

"Most people experience the end of an intimate relationship, usually several times, initiated by themselves or their partner. This phenomenon being relatively common and painful, I wanted to investigate the mechanisms of this breakup, a subject this research aims to address," explains Menelaos Apostolou, co-author of the study with Antonios Kagialis and a professor of evolutionary psychology, to PsyPost. To do this, the researchers conducted two experiments.

The first involved asking 228 adults to imagine themselves in an unhappy relationship and write how they would end it. The researchers then analyzed the participants' responses, grouped similar answers, and identified 45 different ways to break up with a partner. In the second experiment, 392 participants shared their likelihood of using each of the 45 breakup methods. They were also subjected to a personality test known as the Big Five and a test assessing traits of the Dark Triad. The researchers grouped the breakup methods into nine major categories. Among them were gradual distancing, direct and honest conversation, ghosting, offering friendship, and… the request for a break.

A widespread and universal method

The second experiment established the most commonly used methods. Thus, the researchers noticed that the preferred approach, considered by 86% of respondents, was to soften the blow by explaining the reasons, accepting responsibility, or highlighting the benefits of separation. In second place was the request for a break, used by about 24% of respondents. Therefore, in addition to being seen as a breakup technique, the break is widely utilized.

As for the type of person who uses this method, the researchers found no significant links. "I expected to see more marked differences based on gender, age, and personality in individuals' propensity to use each of the identified strategies, but these differences were very weak, if not nonexistent," states Menelaos Apostolou. So, if your partner suggests taking a break to reflect individually, the breakup may be closer than you think.